sharayanan

It rains and I don't know who I am. I look at the light, the pale grey light from above, that burns, that burns the back of blinking eyes, my eyes? Tired eyes, blinking, blinking to wipe away the large and cold and stringent raindrops... Where is the answer? In these heavy drenched clothes, inbetween the thick streams running down, down my shivering bare skin covered in nameless scars? Or under the surface of trembling facial muscles, hidden, hidden under the throbbing pain of migraine? I wish I could speak, but I cannot speak: my mouth is sewed shut and I forgot all words. I can barely see, I am blind, blind for anything but this overwhelm

When we want to say that something is noteworthy, that it is very important, we say: it is fundamental. A fundamental discovery, a fundamental fact, a fundamental theorem -- we mean these are: a watershed finding, a fact that is key, a theorem that everybody should know.    If we read this seriously, however, fundamental relates to the foundations. The foundations are what we build on, the lowest and supporting layer of a structure -- the substructure, the underbuilding. The foundations (fundus) are underneath, they are the bottom (ὁ πυθμήν). As such, they oppose the bottomless abyss, the boundless, endless

There are moments when Everything feels Like a blind man On the verge On an edge. Still advancing On the plateau, On known territory, Slowing down, A leap, A stride, A foot... And the vast, all-embracing emptiness Opening its arms, The wind pushing behind, Whistling On the sharp rocks, Engulfing itself, Absorbed In the yet unseen abyss In a silenced fall... Feeling the imminent presence Of eternal absence.

Hypatia. Her Life began boldly -- 4th century -- not only female: neoplatonist. Nature might allow sincere pursuit of science, clarity, Knowledge ; but a caballing sect, tittering viciously, craves for moans of fear compatible with their nihilist culture : zany garrisons genteelly assassinated the serene bride in a kyrie. In a rabid surge, a yelling zephyr nimbed : monks, tenesmic, rufescent, rhythmically paraded and barraged the candid with inane stones ; stabbing Theon's infant: an execution.

I was but the echo Of the shadow Of a man. The rain had fallen, And the echo Was no more. The night had risen, And the shadow Was no more. The river had swollen, And the fellow Was no more. I was but the echo Of the echo Of the shadow Of that man.

Each of us finds himself, one day, maybe several times, further and further, scratched by the hidden power of this question, incidentally not knowing what's going on. At times of grand distress for instance, when things lose their consistence and every meaning falls into obscurity, the question emerges. Maybe it only touched us once, like the dampened ringing of a bell seeping in our existence and then fading gradually.  Martin Heidegger, Einführung in die Metaphysik, 1935 Chapter I (personal translation from German) I was standing there, in my kitchen, a kettle boiling water, steam bubbling its way out of this liquid chaos in a tremb

I opened my eyes. Where is your shadow? Where are your arms? It is dark, it is cold, And in the silence I shake

Well, er, hello I guess, that's what people say, right? Haha! Hello then! So, er, I'm Katie, I mean, Katie Sylvester, nice to meet you. I must say, I don't really know what I'm doing here, well I mean I took the bus haha but I mean, you're a doctor or something, and I'm not sick. I'm not in pain, I'm not anxious, I'm not... depressed, I'm alright, really! I just had a cold last week, but my GP said I should see you. It's crazy right? But I'm a nice girl so here I am, because he said I should come, but I don't really expect anything haha. So... I don't know how it works... I guess I talk about myself right? Alright. Well, er, I'm Katie Sylvest

I was feeling really good! It hadn't happened in a long long time... I ate so much that day, but I still felt handsome! But then, I understood. I knew I had an incurable disease, I knew I was going to die at the end of the week, and I knew someone had prepared a trip for me to live my last hours. I walked in the city... unknown streets, I was lost. Even there, posters to remind me that I've got AIDS... I walked into a park, there was someone telling me my parents are safe, home... Then I walked back to the campus. People were looking at me, everybody looked so sad, but they smiled at me. Then I went to the train station... I entered the train